Keeping track of the stuff in my head
Posted in Cancer on May 18th, 2011
It’s a phrase I’ve heard a lot in the last week. “I don’t know what to say”. Said with shock, with sadness, with terror, with honesty and sincerity, and so often with more than a hint of guilt. As if you feel you ought to have just the right words there ready and waiting; words [...]
Posted in Cancer on May 15th, 2011
…it’s the fear that gets you. I’ll own that. It’s the fear that gets me. I’m fucking terrified. Five days in and the numbness is wearing off. I cried about it for first time today. Away from distractions, things to keep my mind off it, in the still calmness of the bath. Why is it [...]
Posted in Cancer on May 11th, 2011
Today is my first full day of knowing that I have cancer. The knowledge changes everything. And yet it changes nothing. I still woke up at the normal time this morning. I’m still about to go off to work. By the time I finish writing this I’ll have come home from work, probably eaten my [...]
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